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Residents of Wildwood Lose An Extraordinary Amount Of Teeth, Tooth Fairy Exhausted
Wildwood residents are known for street-fighting, pulling their own teeth to make room for more food, and a methamphetamine usage rate twenty-five times higher than average. Together, these factors have resulted in widespread tooth loss and an unusually heavy reliance on the Tooth Fairy’s services. “Like all young fairies, I dreamed of breaking into people’s homes to exchange hard-earned money for worthless teeth,” says the Tooth Fairy. “But my assignment in Wildwood has been
Slow Tony Fabulous
Dec 15, 20251 min read


Wildwood Religious Affiliations
Alcoholics Anonymous - 37.2% Roman Catholic - 30.6% Eating - 12.1% Gay Amish - 9.5% Pokemon - 8.3% Other - 2.3%
Slow Tony Fabulous
Jan 29, 20251 min read


Wildwood Educator Has Perfected The Blood Alcohol Level Necessary To Teach Fourth Grade Math.
Benjamin Recht has been teaching fourth-grade math at Glenwood Avenue Elementary for 22 years. He’s deeply concerned about his students’...
Slow Tony Fabulous
Dec 1, 20241 min read


Older Italians Give Back To The Community And Start Bocce Camp For Pre-Teens.
“After a kid has a few sips of Chianti, you see them lock in,” says Gino Ganoosh, President of the Wildwood Bocce Club. Mr. Ganoosh...
Slow Tony Fabulous
Sep 30, 20241 min read
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