FBI Captures Serial Farter Terrorizing Wildwood Restaurants
- Slow Tony Fabulous
- 6 days ago
- 1 min read
Wildwood residents have been complaining about toxic smells in various restaurants for over a year. Edward Lee has been identified by the Federal Bureau of Investigation as the perpetrator responsible for setting off “bombs” in multiple Wildwood establishments.
A former employee of Dong Sin Chinese Restaurant, which closed in 2023, Edward was reportedly distraught and angry after losing his job at the restaurant with the coolest name ever. Frustrated by unemployment—combined with a diet consisting mostly of burritos and dairy products—he channeled his rage into a year-long flatulence campaign across several
restaurants, resulting in more than 15 hospitalizations.
The FBI discovered his website , “SilentButEdLee.com,” which featured photographs of Mr. Lee smiling inside various establishments while the other patrons were in visible distress.
Residents can now rest assured that any future illnesses linked to Wildwood restaurants will return to the town’s traditional cause: a chronic refusal of food workers to wash their fucking hands.
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