Wildwood Is Hooking Up Sluts To The Power Grid To Produce More Energy

The increased demand for clean energy has led the Wildwood government to hook local sluts up to the power grid. The legendary horniness of Wildwood women, once an embarrassment to the town, has now become a valued renewable resource.

"Any law passed with 'Environmentally Friendly' and 'Renewable' in the title takes precedence over the U.S. Constitution. We can legally install electricity-generating beds in the homes of our most prolific skanks. The labor is free and the locals call it the Green Pussy Movement," said Councilwoman Anu Sfartez.

The large Hispanic male population of Wildwood has proven to be another unexpected advantage. Wildwood tramp Kelsey Bottoms explained, "In this town, if I spread my legs to cool off, the next thing you know, a guy named Manny crawls through the window and is thrusting away in there. They just pretend they don't speak English when you question it."

Deputy Mayor Ronald McDonna said the idea came from the movie The Matrix, in which machines harvest energy from humans to generate power. "Instead of a dystopian simulation with agents keeping order, we have lifeguards. Instead of a grid of holding tanks restraining people, we have a Ferris wheel. And instead of tubes shoved down people's throats to provide a gooey protein sustenance... well, that's the same."