Wildwood Sanitation Department Reminds Residents That Seasonal Garbage Pass Does Not Allow For Leaving Elderly Parents At The Dump For Disposal

“Me and the boys were sitting around drinking. I was in the middle of telling a joke—just about to hit the punchline—when this horrific stench filled the room. Then my dad calls out from his wheelchair, ‘I’ve pooped.’ That’s when I knew I’d be dropping him off at the dump the next day,” says Kareem Abdul-Wong of Hildreth Street, Wildwood.

The Wildwood Sanitation Department has noticed a sharp increase in residents dropping off their elderly parents at the local dump.

“I used to hesitate before putting old people in the compactor for a nap,” says Garland Phillip of the sanitation crew. “But after hearing the same story for the 20th time, I just pull the handle, watch the door go down, and don’t think twice about it.”

Wildwood Deputy Mayor Ronald McDonna sees the trend of abandoning seniors at the dump as a potential boon for the town.

“Most residents are decent enough to leave their parents during the summer, so at least no one’s freezing to death,” he explains. “And when the seniors eventually pass, we’ve got a trash incinerator out back. The township can even the cremated remains back to the family in a miniature ceramic garbage truck/urn. This is an idea whose time has come.”