Woman Sues Wildwood McDonald’s Over Botched Plastic Surgery

"I didn’t go to McDonald’s for a facelift—I just wanted a milkshake and accidentally ordered the wrong number at the drive-thru," says Ms. Bailey Barnum of Roberts Avenue in Wildwood, who is now suing the Wildwood McDonald’s for botching her plastic surgery.

"Dr. Schweetnsauer was calm, reassuring, and seemed knowledgeable about the procedure, but I should have walked out the moment he told me to lie down on top of the fryer. Having surgery in the back of a fast-food restaurant didn’t seem professional, but I figured—how difficult could a facelift be? So, I gave it a try."

After regaining consciousness in the janitor’s closet, Ms. Barnum was handed a prescription for antibiotics, a few ketchup packets, and promptly sent home. Upon arriving, she was met with the stunned faces of her husband and children. One glance in the bathroom mirror confirmed her worst fears. "I look like a fucking clown," she recalled.

Legal analysts reviewing the case agree that Ms. Barnum is likely to win her multi-million-dollar lawsuit. When asked for a response, McDonald’s legal counsel, Phil A. O’Fish, stated, "We are always looking for ways to satisfy our customers’ needs. However, maybe we should stick to fast food and reconsider our expansion into complicated cosmetic surgery."