Wildwood Great Dane Eats Owners Stash - Thinks Neighbor’s Chihuahua Is One Of His Poops Come To Life

Karl “Snotty” Burger of Wisteria Lane owns a Great Dane named Cheech, whom he insists is addicted to marijuana. When Cheech gets high, he engages in inappropriate behavior, such as having sex with local mailboxes, and he believes the neighbor’s Chihuahua is one of his poops come to life.

“My stash is always missing. I’ll open my drawer and, instead of the ounce I bought, there’s a chicken bone that Cheech must have gotten out of the trash. The dog thinks it’s a fair trade. While we’re walking, Cheech always has a strange reaction when he sees Rico, the neighbor’s Chihuahua. He’s shocked to see him and keeps looking at Rico, then glancing at his own butt, as if Rico fell out of there.” says Karl.

Thanks to new technology developed by Neuralink, it's now possible to ask Cheech directly, provided he wears a small electronic birthday hat that translates his thoughts into English.

Interview with Cheech:

PW: Your owner Karl says you're addicted to marijuana.

Cheech: Owner? What the fuck? We’re roommates. But I do like a little parsley on my food, if you know what I mean.

PW: Karl also mentioned that you seem to think the dog next door is one of your poops come to life?

Cheech: Dog? I might have been a little stoned, but I’m telling you, there were sparkles, smoke, and then that walking poop came out of my butt. Some kind of miracle. I’m pretty proud of it.

PW: Is it more likely that you spawned the first known living poop, or that it's just the neighbor’s Chihuahua, and your brain is fried from eating an ounce of weed every day?Cheech: Thanks for the sarcasm, professor, but I was there, and I saw it fall out of my rear. It started following me around. It’s mine.

David Whetthand, Cheech and Karl’s neighbor, would be very grateful if Cheech would stop getting high all the time. “I’m not really concerned if Cheech thinks Rico is a dog turd come to life, but I just want Cheech to stop fucking my mailbox. I had to tell a judge that I couldn’t read the date I was supposed to appear in court because the summons I received in the mail was covered in dog spooge. I ended up spending 10 days in jail for perjury and contempt of court.”