National Marbles Hall Of Fame On Pacific Avenue Celebrates 49th Visitor Since Opening in 1993

“The new ‘Flik Our Balls’ campaign is really paying off. We’ve had three visitors this year!” says Sylvia Stern-Stallone, general manager of the Marbles History Museum in Wildwood, NJ. “The next person through the door will be our 50th visitor since we opened in 1993.”

Inexplicably, Sylvia continues speaking about marbles: “It’s such a thrill to tell guests stories of marbles legends like Sam ‘Big Dick’ Snyder, Martin ‘Monster Cock’ Clark, and Richard Long—who didn’t care for nicknames. The actual gameplay is boring as hell, but the behind-the-scenes drama is fantastic. Like in 1996, when Joey ‘Mega Dong’ McCourt kidnapped Robby ‘Hung Beast’ Miller’s daughter to throw off his concentration. Or in 2008, when ‘Large’ Willy Beamon used his glass eye to cheat his way to the championship.”

Despite the obscure subject matter, the Marbles History Museum is an impressive spectacle. Seven-foot golden statues of past champions line the atrium, and the sprawling gardens out back feature fountains that shoot marbles 20 feet into the air. The museum is funded by a foundation sponsored by Warren Buffett, one of the wealthiest individuals in the United States.

Sylvia explains, “Wallen Boofat was a marbles player in his youth and has pledged to honor his favorite pastime with very generous funding. I’ve had a bit of trouble pronouncing his name ever since a marble got lodged in my jaw during the 2012 championship—right after Ronnie ‘Fat Pecker’ Fausto detonated a pipe bomb to protest a rules violation.”