COVID Vaccine Completely Changed A Local Man.

Residents of Toledo Avenue in Wildwood Crest insist the COVID-19 vaccine completely changed a local man.

"Before COVID, Johnny was an angry retard. After the shot, he started speaking French and smoking a pipe," says neighbor Sally Hawt-Dogg.

Olly Butterman, who lives across the street from Johnny, agrees. “In 2019, Johnny used to throw his cigarette butts in our yard and wore that ‘I Fucked Your Grandma’ T-shirt all the time. Now, post-vaccine, he’s sporting a plaid scarf, beret, and a Taylor Swift Eras tour sweatshirt. I don’t know what is worse, my grandma getting railed or a man who likes Taylor Swift.”

A poll of local residents shows a unanimous belief that Johnny changed after the shot, though opinions vary: some preferred anti-social Johnny pre-2020, while others favored the new pretentious "French intellectual" version of Johnny.

"Aside from my grandma's fascination with him, everyone on the block agrees he’s still annoying—just in a different way. I truly hope he doesn’t end up becoming my grandpa,” Butterman adds.