Wildwood has been cited for microaggressions against the local animal ecosystem by the New Jersey Ministry of Diverse Animal Protection. A few of the directives from the state include: “Crab” implies a bad attitude and damages the animal’s self-esteem. It should instead be referred to as a “feisty.” Cats should no longer be called “pussies,” but rather “smileys.” Seagulls should be referred to as “seathems” when their gender is unknown. Deputy Mayor Ronald McDonna of Wildwood